Creating Balance
Balance: A strong sense of self, identity and stability. This includes a strong foundation ( health, savings account, support system, etc) that allows you to take chances. We will never be completely balanced but we can live a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally. Having a good foundation and sense of self will give you the tools to handle the most stressful of days.

Tips:

1. Control - Take control and learn when it’s ok to release some of your control to others. Ask for help.

2. Gratitude - At least twice a day say “Thanks” for what you have by thinking about what you have. We have more then we think. What makes us truly happy - Socializing, family and passion.

3. Positive - Being positive or negative is contagious. Make sure to be optimistic - it makes for a healthier lifestyle. It also helps us be physically healthy. Smiling and laughter is proven to make us happier and healthy.
Do an emotional detox - who is toxic in your life?

4. Purpose - To feel complete and well balanced we need to have a purpose. What is your purpose.

5. Strengths - focus on strengths and forget your weaknesses - If you focus on weakness you will feel empty, insecure and depressed. Figure out your strengths and focus on them. Become self-aware of what your good at. Write a list of your top 10 strengths and look at them everyday. Remind yourself - who you are and what your good at. This is learned - Follow this rule for your children. Don’t focus and constantly point out their flaws and weaknesses. What is your child good at - praise them - Positive reinforcement for you and your child. Be a good role model. Children follow our behaviors. How do you behave?

6. Help others - constantly “Pay it Forward”.

7. Be realistic - what can I do NOW? What action can I take at this very moment to make a positive change in my life? This should be done everyday. This is an ACTION- what ACTION can I take today, tomorrow and everyday after?

8. Failure - Use your failure as motivation. Answer this question:
What has failure taught you?
Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Learn from it and move forward.
Break a habit - it takes about 30 days to form or break a habit.
Ways to change:
Be Self-aware
What are your goals?
What Action can you take both Short Term & long term ?
DO IT
Continue for about a month until it becomes a habit

9. Forgiveness - Are you grieving your old identity (pre-kids)?
Have you forgiven yourself for not being Perfect? Super mom?
Mommy Guilt - what are you feeling guilty about? Are you a working mom?

10. Critical and judgmental - I  interviewed over 100 moms and almost all said the same thing - I don’t feel balanced. Most moms described themselves as overwhelmed.  We put so much focus on being a Super Mom, we forget to be a mom. To feel a sense of balance we need a few things:
Momentary Moments - brief moments of happiness. Example: having a coffee or ice-cream, getting our nails done, massage, etc.
These are happy moments that give us brief moments of happiness but not long lasting. We need a few these each week. ( at least)
Long lasting happiness -  a social life - family, friends and a good relationship.
This will supply a sense of stability, security, comfort and support.

11. Self - care - Be self focused. Selfish is not a bad word. If we don’t nurture ourselves, we won’t be happy and healthy. How can we be good parents this way? As women/moms, we tend nurture everyone others and always put others first. It’s good to help others but that includes taking care of yourself.
Learn to say NO! We are often unbalanced because we take on more then we could handle. If we learned to say no and not overload ourselves and our schedule - we would feel less stressed and more balanced. This includes asking for help!

12. Creativity/variety - If we don’t have both we become bored, stale and unhappy. We don’t grow. This includes taking risks - the most successful people are high risk takers.

13. Self - confidence - Be confident - you will be a great role model. A lot of people agreed they might not of been the most balanced But they were happy because they have a strong sense of self and know who they are ( passion). Balance is about being secure with YOU and making good choices.
When you are confident- you realize that there will be solutions to your problems, that you can handle a crazy day and everything will be just fine

WHAT YOU THINK  = FEEL =  BELIEVE  =  WHO YOU ARE!

Contact Diane Lang with any questions/comments at: lifeline36@aol.com
Or visit my website: www.dlcounseling.com  or go to my blog: www.myhappyblog.vox.com